One year ago almost to the day was
when I first saw the six month old pit bull terrier that we would adopt and rename Gracie.
She was in a down with her big, blocky head cradled between her two front paws, as far back as she could get from the front of the kennel run. It was noisy. Most animal shelters are. Everything that I knew about her came from listening to my son.
He’d noticed her when she first appeared at the shelter in January. Now, almost three months later, at my son’s invitation, I stood in a corridor, on the other side of a glass wall separating a suite of kennels from one of the busier hallways in the shelter, looking at her.
Not much expression registered on her face. Her half-shut eyes suggested she might be cat-napping but, as I would find out later, she was aware of everything around her even when she looked like she was sleeping, like Suzy, the German Shepherd Norweign Elkhound cross breed dog we’d had years ago.
Working breeds always seem to have that astute, internal radar that filters everything going on all around them. Where Suzy was quicker to exercise her ninja powers (she could make another dog freeze in its tracks with her fierce eye), this dog is more laid back, content to register what she sees and smells; taking a calm, accurate inventory.
Perhaps her undoing, from an adopting family’s perception, are her cropped ears. That and the stereotypical reputation that pit bull terriers have acquired.
“People see her ears and think she’s mean,” my son confided to me.
Everything about Gracie totally contradicts the grossly unfair assumptions that people make about pit bulls.
She was an owner surrender to an animal shelter when she was five months old, spending 30 days there before being transferred to the shelter where my son worked. Described by shelter employees as painfully shy left it up to potential adopters to figure out if that meant not socialized and/or abused.
Riding in a car?
Gracie had to be lifted up from the pavement into the passenger seat of my son’s car when we brought her home from that second shelter. She curled into herself, all four legs pressed tightly into her core; eyes closed, she had no interest in checking out where she was or where she was going.
A year later, she’s a happy pit bull terrier
When we took her to dog obedience classes, we discovered that she responds to tone of voice more than to dog treats. The happy voice of someone she knows puts a spring in her step, makes her smile.
The thing about Gracie is that she’s patient. She’ll wait for you to figure things out. Which is good because talking to her in that happy voice became something my son had to learn.
Voice inflections don’t come easy for him because he’s on the autism spectrum. I know he felt awkward the first time he tried out his happy voice because I could hear him fumble for that higher register. Gracie never let on that he was anything other than perfect.
It did take practice and total privacy.
And, he figured it out.
Life on the Autism Spectrum Changes
Just like he’s figured out a few other things over the course of one year. He might not (yet) be able to tell you to back off if he feels like he’s being verbally attacked but he can confide those feelings to someone he trusts so that he can deal with it.
He’s learned how to talk about how having Asperger’s Syndrome affects his learning style and how it influences his work habits. He’s learned how thinking outside the box creates solutions and how important it is to build his own tribe.
So many small changes this year that all add up to incredible shifts in behavior!
What can you do next if you like this post?
The decision to start writing about my son has been a long time coming. The challenge, of course, is to preserve his privacy while offering content that will help other parents whose children have transitioned into the adult world. (Or are about too.) I’ll be guest blogging about this journey, what I like to call “Dancing on the Edge of Autism” in addition to blogging about it here. (Sometimes.)
If you’d like to be notified about those guest blog posts, you can opt in to my email list and stay tuned for up-dates. If you know of someone who might like to read this post, please don’t hesitate to share it using whatever Social Media platform works for you.